PlayDoh
by Volpone
Summary: Deidara knows it's all about presentation. DeiSaku of course!
1. PlayDoh

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.

**Play-Doh**

* * *

"What is _that_?" 

Sakura looked up from the patient file she was going over, blinking at her boyfriend's expression. He looked horrified and... vaguely disgusted. Eyes following the direction in which his trembling finger was pointing, they settled on the object sitting third shelf down of her bookcase.

"Oh, that," she said airily, going back to her paperwork, "that was a gift from Kohonamaru. His team got into a minor scuffle with another genin group a couple weeks ago and he made that for me after I patched him up. Isn't it cute?"

Deidara's blue eyes remained fixated on the little horror, his lip curling in revulsion. _Cute _was** not** a word he would use to describe the... thing.

"Is that supposed to be you, mmm?" Uncertain, he examined the awkward... lump.

Sakura looked up again, brow furrowed. "Well... yeah... Doesn't it _look_ like me?"

The blond continued to stare at the little sculpture. Whatever the thing was made of (he _seriously _doubted it was clay) was a violently pink color. Even pinker than his adorable girlfriend's adorable hair. It was molded into a roughly... human... shape... and more of whatever-it-was, this time green in color, had been smooshed onto what he assumed to be the face to make what he assumed to be eyes.

"No. That thing is _grotesque_, yeah!"

Sakura pouted, rather offended. She glared harshly at Deidara, crossing her arms over her chest and looking, for a moment, rather like her temperamental master.

"It is _not_!" She rose to her feet, stepping between the Akatsuki and the sculpture, picking up the eyesore and cradling it lovingly. "And Kohonamaru is only ten, give him a break!"

Deidara snorted, "_I_ could have sculpted you perfectly when I was ten. Yeah."

Sakura rolled her eyes, gently placing the riotously pink lump back in it's place. "_You_ have a bloodline limit that makes you ridiculously talented." She didn't have to turn around to know that Deidara was preening – no one thought of more of their own artistic ability than him.

"_Besides_," she continued, her tone disarmingly light, "It's not as if anyone else has ever given me something like this before..."

Deidara blinked in disbelief as Sakura glanced over her shoulder at him, her eyes somewhat accusing. What was she getting at? Wait, he frowned, did she want _him_ to sculpt her? Smirking, the blond reached out and pulled her against him, muffling her protests with a hungry kiss.

"I don't use my clay to make static pieces of art, yeah. It's not my style." He mumbled against her lips. Sakura pulled back, cheeks flushed. She was only slightly embarrassed that she'd been caught.

"I didn't ask you to!" She insisted, though her tone was somewhat hopeful. Deidara groaned and flopped onto the couch, pulling the pink-headed hellion into his lap and holding her there when she struggled to get back to her feet. A warning nip from his left palm to her shoulder stilled her.

"_Obviously_." No, she didn't say it out loud, but the desire was in her eyes. And her rather pointed comment about the pink horror. Speaking of which...

"What's that thing made of, anyway, mmm?" He glared at the offensive statue.

"Play-doh," Sakura giggled, leaning into him. Deidara didn't know what the hell play-doh was, but if it had the capacity to make crap like _that_... He shivered. Sakura shifted in his lap, her green eyes fixed hopefully on him. The hardened S-class criminal squirmed under her gaze. Was he willing to compromise his artistic beliefs for this woman?

Absolutely.

"If I sculpt you, you have to get rid of that monstrosity. Yeah."

Sakura grinned, "I'll put it _next_ to the monstrosity."

Deidara pouted and Sakura laughed, kissing him softly. "Don't be jealous of the play-doh," she grinned mischievously. Deidara grinned toothily back, his expression wicked.

"Who's jealous, mmm? I just feel bad for the kid, okay? My work is going to make that thing look like a cat vomited it up. Yeah." Not that, in Deidara's opinion, it didn't _already_ look that way.

Sakura lightly punched his arm (which _still_ made him flinch) but couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled from her lips. "You're awful!"

Deidara chuckled and shrugged, "But you love me anyway, yeah?"

Sakura smiled, green eyes alight.

"Yeah."

* * *

If you liked the story, please review! And if you're going to add this story to your favorites or alerts – please review first. It's the polite thing to do. :) 


	2. Presentation

I can't get enough crack. I'm an addict. Sadly, no one feeds my addiction, so I've been forced to make my own dope with a second chapter to this little piece. It's like meth, only more addictive and twice as explosive!

Enjoy...

Deidara knows, it's all about _Presentation_!

* * *

The sun was shining insistently through her window, the shaft of light having somehow sneaked through her blinds to hit her directly in the face. 

Sakura groaned and tried and roll over, but found she was too tangled in the sheets to get far. She attempted to worm her way backward to the other side of the bed, still clutching the remnants of sleep because she _really _didn't want to get up if she didn't have to.

A sudden and very _loud _crash from behind her bedroom door had the kunoichi wide-awake and jumping out of bed, though. Kind of. She was still tangled in the sheets, so instead of shooting out of bed and landing stealthily on her feet, she actually ended up stumbling over the mattress and falling to the floor. She kicked her legs free of the bedding, muttering a few choice obscenities and squinting because the light was in her eyes._ Again_.

Now _quite _awake (and grumpy), Sakura stomped out of her room and down the hall, hunting down the source of the noise that had ruined her Saturday morning ritual called "catch up on all the sleep we lost during the rest of the week".

She found the culprit in her kitchen, holding a frying pan and looking sheepish.

"Sorry, yeah. I didn't mean to wake you."

Sakura blinked at her boyfriend, and at the mess on her kitchen counters consisting of the gooey interiors of several broken eggs. A few pots and pans had been piled in the sink, though a couple more were still on the floor where they had fallen from the cabinet.

"Uh, are you _cooking_?" Sakura ran a hand through her sleep-mussed hair, still blinking tiredly at the blond. Deidara smiled winningly and brandished the pan.

"Omletes, yeah." He grinned, faltering slightly as he turned back toward the stove. He set the pan down on the burner and picked up a bowl of beaten eggs, pouring them into the cast-iron contraption.

Sakura winced. That particular pan didn't have a non-stick surface, which meant those eggs were going to _burn_...

"Cheese... would be where, mmm?"

The pink-haired kunoichi pointed at the fridge. "Do you want some help?" She asked softly, smiling as he dug around the shelves of the refrigerator. Finding what he was looking for, he stood up and elbowed the white door shut, shaking his head.

"No, just sit down, yeah? I'll be done in a minute."

Smiling, Sakura took a seat at the bar, watching her boyfriend try to make an omelet. The blond had his hair down, some fell over his forehead to cover his eye as usual, but the rest fell in a shimmering cascade down his back. The boy was a walking Pantene commercial.

He was shirtless, too, and his sweatpants rode low on his hips. Overall, she quite liked the view.

"When did you come in?" She asked, resting her elbows on the counter top.

Deidara shrugged, throwing some cheese into the simmering egg mixture.

"Late, yeah."

Sakura frowned. "Why didn't you wake me last night?"

The blond nin bit his lip and shrugged again. "I didn't want to."

The pink-haired girl narrowed her eyes at him, noticing the way he hunched his shoulders. Deidara was apparently nervous about something. She cast a quick glance around the room: He had obviously crashed on her couch, but had been awake for a few hours, if the clay dust all over her table was any indication.

Sakura yawned and leaned further on her elbows, starting a bit when a mug full of something hot was brandished under her nose.

"Coffee?"

The kunoichi nodded, her green eyes fixed suspiciously on her boyfriend's back as he turned to get milk out of the fridge for her. It was a very _nice_ back, all toned and ripply with muscles trained for distance fighting...

The Akatsuki set the milk down in front of her and turned back toward the cabinets.

"Sugar, yeah?" He asked, rummaging around. Sakura frowned. It was really,_ really _sweet that Deidara was making her breakfast and all, but what the _hell_ was going on? It wasn't her birthday, was it? She was pretty sure she'd know if it was her birthday. Shit, was it _his _birthday?! But, then, shouldn't _she _be cooking _him _breakfast?

A plate with a large, extra-crispy omelet was set down in front of her. Deidara took the chair across the table, facing her, worrying his lip and looking about ten kinds of uncomfortable. Sakura looked from the omelet up to her boyfriend, and then back again.

Oh, god... Had he killed one of her friends? Because, if he had killed one of her friends and thought that a burnt omelet was going to earn her forgiveness, he had another think coming.

Bravely, she picked up a fork and carefully took a bite of the slightly smoking dish.

Deidara watched her, hushed, waiting for a sign of approval. The pink-haired kunoichi chewed thoughtfully, then set her fork down.

"Hmm... Tasty!" She grinned. The blond leaned back in his seat, looking visibly more relaxed.

"Um, Deidara... Not that I don't appreciate the gesture, but... why did you make breakfast again?"

The blond smiled nervously. "What if I said... I was trying to seduce you, yeah?"

"Consider me seduced," Sakura giggled.

The Akatsuki smiled, his fingers drumming against the table-top. It was a nervous tick he indulged in when he didn't have any clay on hand to distract him. Sakura watched him, tilting her head to the side.

"It's all about presentation, yeah," He sighed. Sakura blinked.

"Presentation?" She repeated.

Deidara was fiddling with something under the table.

"Can I just say, that I have no idea what you're talking about?" Sakura said politely, tapping her fork against the plate. Deidara looked moodily at her, muttering something about a 'stupid idea' before he reached out and set something in front of her.

Something pink.

Something _very_ pink.

* * *

The trip to the toy store had been humiliating, to say the least. Deidara had kept the collar of Akatsuki cloak up and peered imperiously at the other customers as he walked the aisles. He felt _ridiculous_ and if any of the other Akatsuki found out about this he was _so_ never going to live it down. 

The stuff was in the toddler aisle. Like, for _babies_. The blond groaned and quickly grabbed a case of multi-colored play-doh, then hurrying toward the check-out line. The cashier grinned at him, ringing up the small case.

"You know, this goes very well with the spaghetti kitchen set." He beamed.

Deidara narrowed his eyes. This was embarrassing enough without buying the... spaghetti kitchen.

"No, thanks, mmm."

The man, who obviously saw an opportunity for upselling, continued, undeterred. "What about the baking set? You could make cupcakes! They're so cute, the kids love it!"

The nin's stomach lurched and he tightened his hands into fists. People...actually... _ate _this shit?!

"I'm good, yeah." He growled, grabbing his purchase and beating a hasty retreat.

Later, outside the hideout, with the multi-colored material laid out in front of him, Deidara was hitting a wall – creatively, that is. He wasn't even sure where to begin. He lifted the green play-doh in his hand

Curiously, he opened the mouth on his right palm and licked the substance. "Blech!" Deidara made a face, wrinkling his nose in disdain. It was like licking a block of salt! Disgusting. He much preferred the earthy, rich taste of clay.

"Can Tobi try? Tobi wants to play with the dough, too!" The dark-haired man crowded around Deidara's shoulder, chattering in his ear.

Deidara's eye twitched. "Tobi, go away." He growled.

"Tobi wants to make a person!" The masked man grabbed a handful of yellow play-doh, quickly squishing and molding a roughly human shape. He held it under Deidara's nose for approval.

"Look! Now Tobi is just like Deidara-sempai!" The blond could _feel_ the dark-haired shinobi beaming from behind his orange mask.

Deidara groaned and shoved the annoying nin away. "Tobi, back _off_, yeah!" Tobi scooched back, squishing the play-doh again and this time molding into something vaguely bird-like. The masked man laughed, holding his creation up.

"Just like sempai! Katsu, katsu!"

Deidara rolled his eyes, turning his back on his partner and concentrating on the play-doh he had left. He wasn't sure if he wanted to use pink, since Kohonamaru had used that color in _his _monstrous creation. But... Pink _was _a good color for Sakura... Hmm... Maybe he'd use red? She wore red a lot...

He rolled the red dough around in his hands, letting his skin warm the strange putty up and make it more pliable – just like his clay. Except this stuff was already very soft, and warming it up only made it slightly mushier. He tried to mold it, but it was so soft that it kept squishing under the pressure of his fingers.

After about an hour of failed attempts at making a clean, solid sculpture of his rosette-haired girlfriend, Deidara finally snapped. The mouth on his palm gobbled the foul tasting mixture, chewing angrily.

"Katsu!" Tobi giggled in his ear. Turning around, blue eyes blazing, Deidara rolled the slightly moist play-doh in his hand, creating a little round ball that he tossed at his partner.

"Katsu!" The blond snapped, watching in satisfaction as Tobi leaped into the air, narrowly avoiding a bright explosion. It had been more heat and noise than anything, the play-doh was far to weak to create any _real_ works of art. Still, the nice little 'popping' sound of the play-doh bomb had calmed the shinobi somewhat.

Tobi looked down from a tree limb, eyes fixed on his temperamental partner. Deidara-sempai was _scary_ sometimes!

The explosions expert was holding another ball of play-doh, chewing his lip thoughtfully. This stuff was _crap_, man. There was no way he would be able to make a piece of art with this – not one that was up to his standards. Shrugging, Deidara tossed the play-doh back with the other colors. If he was going to make a gift for Sakura, then he was going to use _his _clay.

He looked up at his partner, who was still standing in the tree.

"Hey, Tobi, you can have all that, yeah." He gestured to the play-doh. Tobi blinked, then jumped down and happily gathered up the putty.

"Thanks, Deidara-sempai!" He crowed.

Deidara ignored him, sitting down once more, this time pulling clay out of his pouch. He didn't chew it with the mouths on his palms, because he remembered Sakura didn't _want _an explosive statuette. Which was too bad, because those made _awesome_ gifts.

It didn't take long (because he _was _a master at this) before he held a miniature of Sakura in his hands. He had taken a few minutes to decide on a pose, and had debated between several. Finally, he had sculpted her in a position he'd once seen after a training session. She had been standing at the edge of a ruined field (bombs and chakra-laden punches could do that to the landscape), dirty and sweaty, one hand on her hip as the other pushed back a lock of cotton-candy colored hair.

There wasn't really anything special in the pose. It was the expression on her face he was trying to capture. She had been _smiling _at him.

There were few people who smiled when they saw him coming, but she _always_ did.

It was that smile he wanted to bring to life in this piece of art. He cherished that smile of hers. The way she brightened and glowed when she saw him.

The finished piece was pretty, but... there was nothing... _vibrant_ about it... If he couldn't blow it up, how could he make it scream "NOW"?

Deidara examined the piece with a critical eye. How could he make this worthy of Sakura?

Well... He could dye it... The bomb expert smirked. Oh yes... He could dye it... pink...

Ten minutes later, he had a bubble-gum pink statuette of his favorite kunoichi perched on a rock before him. Now came the difficult part.

How should he give it to her? This was all in the presentation! He couldn't just _hand _her a gift like this. He had to be... romantic about it... But what did he know about romance? Who had experience with this kind of thing?

"Hey Kisame," the blond tried that night at dinner, "I need to ask you a question, yeah."

* * *

He was going to _blast _the sharkman to smithereens. This whole, 'make her breakfast in bed' thing was _not _working. They hadn't even made it to the bed! 

Quietly, Sakura reached out, gently picking up the statuette.

As the silence stretched on, Deidara began to feel like he had a stomach full of piranhas trying to gnaw their way out. Why wasn't she _saying_ anything?!

"Do you like it?" He prodded. He _hated _himself for craving her approval, but crave he did.

Sakura held the figurine with both hands, staring down at it with an odd look on her face.

Deidara fidgeted. Oh, god, he felt like a fool. This was it. He was going to blow it up! Except he couldn't, because he hadn't designed it to be a bomb... So he'd blow it up with another bomb!

Stealthily, the blond slid his hand into the pouch of clay that was still at his waist.

"I love it." Sakura said softly.

And after that, he was going to blow up that fucking play-doh monster on her shelf. And, hell, while he was at it, maybe he'd blow up the bookcase! And then the apartment building! And then the village! And then – wait, what?

"Huh?" He blinked at her, blue eyes wide. Sakura smiled shyly and held the figuring close.

"I love it," She repeated. "Thank you, Deidara..."

The Akatsuki sat back in seat while his girl came around and perched on his knee, still cradling the gift. She leaned down to kiss him softly and he reached up to run his fingers through her hair.

She loved it. Relief flooded him and he relaxed in his seat. He'd been so nervous about giving her the figurine that he'd been wound tighter than a coil. But, she loved it.

Well, now that he thought about it, of _course_ she loved it. _He _had created it, after all, and he was the most talented artist _in the world_. Yeah. He tilted his chin up smugly.

"You're going to put it on the shelf, right? Where it can show up that kid's ugly monster of a model, yeah?"

Sakura grinned and shook her head. "No..."

Deidara pouted, his lower lip jutting out childishly. "_No_? You _said _you --"

He was silenced by a gentle kiss from the pink-haired hellion on his knee.

"Shut up," She told him calmly. "I have a better place for it."

Deidara continued to pout, though he _was _curious about where she planned to display his gift.

Sakura stood up and walked over to her desk, clearing a space for the statuette. Deidara frowned.

"There?"

His girlfriend nodded. "Yes... I do a lot of work here, so I'll see it all the time..." She smiled at him and took his hand, playfully tugging him forward. "It'll make me think of you," She grinned, kissing his cheek.

Deidara eyed the statue thoughtfully, then smiled and wrapped his arm around the kunoichi's waist.

"Don't you already think of me, mmm?" He asked, smirking.

"All the time," She smirked back. "In fact, I'm thinking about you right now..."

Deidara chuckled as she took his arm and began pulling him toward the bedroom.

"Why don't you follow me and I'll tell you what's on my mind?" Sakura grinned mischievously.

"I already have an idea, yeah," the blond shinobi leered at her and she giggled.

As the bedroom door shut, Deidara decided that he should give the sharkman a bit more credit. His idea had been a very good one after all...

And of course, his gift had been amazing.

As he pressed Sakura down against the mattress and slid his fingers through her silky pink hair, he smirked.

Who needed play-doh, when they were a master with the real thing?

"Whatever you're thinking about, stop it and kiss me already," His little hellion demanded. Deidara did just that.

* * *

If I get some reviews, I might wright another DeiSaku. Or maybe a little series of oneshots involving AkatsukixSakura. What do you guys think? 


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